guys, I am amazed. And no drugs involved in its making either
truly the art of paralysing the brain has been mastered in this thread. Keep up the good work
And dude, that fight between Chuck Norris and the assembled deities of 40k would take 30 seconds. The guy has to take break in between to do his ad for his new exercise machine
anyway, here is my alternative to the one man army of Chuck Norris;
Codex; Action Heroes
You buy a blister pack containing the Governator, Willis and Jet Li. They count as a single army. They have the following rules
Cyborg; There are only two things which can stop the Governator; weaklings and molten iron. If there are any T3 or less models on the board, the Governator will teleport beside them and spend the subsequent turn ripping them and any other squad members limb from limb. He may not attack any other unit, until all T3 units are dead. The Governator is totally impervious to anything except melta weapons, which wound him on a 4+.
Weapons; The Governator is armed with a S8 Assault 16 Rending minigun. In close combat, he causes four wounds for every successful roll to wound. He hits and wounds on a 2+ and ignores cover and armor saves. If the opponent uses an invulnerable saving throw, the Governator negates it on a 4+ (because wearing armor, hiding behind rubble and forcefields are for sissies!)
Unbreakable; Willis cannot be killed; he can only reappear in sequels. If Willis is reduced to 0 wounds (he has 20), he teleports into reserve. If you buy "Hollywood hack" as a wargear option for +20 points, Willis reappears with 1 wound. He may only make half his attacks from his profile (to represent his reluctance to re-appear in the sequel)
Weapons; Willis counts as an Obliterator. Additionally, he may take weapons from models he has killed, and morph them at any time. Note; Willis may morph three weapons in a shooting phase, and four powerfists in close combat.
Speedy; Jet Li is so fast, he'll ram your spine through your mouth and stab you through the heart before you can blink. No unit may target Jet Li in the shooting phase. He moves 24 + 3D6 in the movement phase and assault phase. Jet Li may change direction at any point when moving.
Death Stare; Any unit assaulted by Jet Li counts as pinned. In close combat, they simply explode into bloody gore as he tears them apart. The assaulted enemy unit suffers D6 S10 AP3 attacks per model.
Weapons; Jet Li is armed with a power katana, dual Desert Eagles (S4 AP2 Assault 6) and his martial arts skills. In close combat, Jet Li inflicts 30 attacks which ignore armor and cover. He ignores enemy initiative and always strikes first, with a roll of 4+ to wound automatically wounding, regardless of toughness.
ok, there is my effort