[Fluff] The Siege of Bruj - Coffee Table Book

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TheAmbit
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Re: [Fluff] The Siege of Bruj

Post#11 » Feb 24 2015 06:10

modelglue wrote:I'm liking the historical style of writing, which I prefer when reading narrative accounts. There is a lot here, and I will take the time to give it all a read.

Incredible effort Ambit!


I tried very hard (and a friend of mine) to avoid using dialogue to move the story along. There's some sidebars with dialogue just to add variety but the main story was told from an observer's point of view or at least that was the intent. An omnipotent perspective without bias.

I've read through it myself a few times and it definitely takes on the 'bolter porn' genre but I'm ok with that. Light reading for my coffee table haha.

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TheAmbit
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Re: [Fluff] The Siege of Bruj

Post#12 » Apr 11 2015 08:02

I've added a new section to Chapter 5 above. Basically I was going to have a battle in chapter 5 which would segue into more daemonic presence on the planet, followed by a final apocalypse battle which would ultimately save or destroy the entire planet.

However, my buddy who was helping with this 'retired' from helping last year so I've had less motivation and no proof reading. Instead, I've decided to use the chapter 5 battle (which we played a few months ago) as the final battle. I plan to have the ritual still be the focus, but it's likely going to end with a really grim twist that the Raven Guard didn't really accomplish anything and a long drawn out battle with the Imperial Guard is the only answer, because in the grim dark, there is only war.

Basically the Raven Guard are going to try and stop the ritual but ultimately abandon the system to its own end. This way I don't have to write more chapters afterward. A bit anticlimactic but it is 40k so a clean ending isn't really fluffy :)

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Calmsword
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Re: [Fluff] The Siege of Bruj

Post#13 » Apr 12 2015 02:02

I'm still reading, but I'm loving the entries, TheAmbit. I agree with modelglue that the blend of historical (almost codex like) storytelling mixed with the first hand accounts has got me hooked.

A quick question-

TheAmbit wrote:Some time in early 800M41 Roscius began tampering with the Emerald Fist geneseed;


Is this part of his corruption that only he and the Kor would know about? It seems like such a big, conspiracy worthy act to manipulate and tamper with the gene seed that I was hoping for just a little more as to either the "why" or "how" he managed to do so without setting off 'alarms' within his chapter or the tithing of Mars.
~Good Hunting

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TheAmbit
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Re: [Fluff] The Siege of Bruj

Post#14 » Apr 12 2015 03:38

Calmsword I'm glad you like it!

I believe only Kor Ikthon and the silly apothecary would know about it at that time. I was debating leaving that out since it wasn't a direct involvement in the story and could probably be a few pages in and of itself. I'm sure there could be a few plausible reasons for how they escaped the Tithe of Mars - perhaps they were off crusading, or being head apothecary, he didn't infect everything and knew what to send.

I tried to just clear it up in the first paragraph and say 'this is how it is' but maybe that isn't enough?

Maybe something simple like a rephrasing to
'Sometime in early 800M.41 Roscius, long under the sway of Kor Ikthon, began tampering'

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Calmsword
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Re: [Fluff] The Siege of Bruj

Post#15 » Apr 12 2015 04:47

Sometimes all it takes is a sentence.

Your edit, done quite artfully (!!!), banishes any confusion I might have had. "Long under the sway" conjures up images of secret dealings, solutions to avoiding the Tithe and general nefariousness. Good job, I look forward to reading more.

:D
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TheAmbit
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Re: [Fluff] The Siege of Bruj

Post#16 » Apr 12 2015 06:06

I appreciate the feedback. I'm sure there are lots of things that could be better written so any comments are much appreciated.

I spent four hours this afternoon formatting images and stuff and adding a sentence here and there to Chapter 5 since after re-reading it, it didn't make sense. It's quite a slow process but I've uploaded a new draft of the book (With pretty pictures) if anyone is interested.

Link to the pdf

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-Kvgn ... sp=sharing

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TheAmbit
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Re: [Fluff] The Siege of Bruj

Post#17 » May 14 2015 08:34

Updated the story 'ending' with "The End". This was supposed to have another chapter based on an apocalypse battle but since this is a couple years into the telling so far, and my friends and I don't play anymore, I wanted to wrap it up. I will still have to write an epilogue but for now it's done in so much as the fighting anyway. If there are any errors (I just wrote this up) please let me know. I'm sure there is polishing that can happen and I'll probably do some rewrites next week.

I'm sitting in the realm of 20,000 words which I think is about 19,000 more than I've ever put to paper so it's a milestone :) I think it qualifies as a short novella?

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TheAmbit
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Re: [Fluff] The Siege of Bruj - Chapter 5 - May15

Post#18 » May 16 2015 05:40

Finished! Now to do final formatting, then I'll print off a rough copy and do a final edit before sending this to the printers.

A reminder, the 26mb pdf with images, more backstory etc. is here as draft version 3.0 https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-Kvgn ... sp=sharing

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TheAmbit
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Re: [Fluff] The Siege of Bruj

Post#19 » Oct 22 2015 04:18

I forgot to post an update here!

Image

"Acting on intel from the Segmentum's Inquisition, the Raven Guard 3rd company deploys a scouting party to the system of Bruj to investigate reports of a once loyal chapter, the Emerald Fists, having captured the system and enslaved the populace to their own end. What they find there spits on the friendship the 3rd Captain once thought he held with the Fists and puts both chapters into battlefield roles they were not designed for."

The story details the outcome of a narrative campaign loosely based on the Badab War Campaign between the Raven Guard and my creation, the Emerald Fists. The details and events portrayed are inspired by actual in-game events as each mission evolved based on the results of the previous (some artistic license was of course taken). The heroes and events are all original and in many cases the result of dice rolls.

Image

Now that it's finished (it took me 3 years!) I've had it printed to a hardbound book by Blurb and it has a new home on my coffee table. Here's a few photos of the cover and some pages. Adobe inDesign was used to make the layouts and Photoshop was used for the image effects (I had to watch a lot of youtube videos to learn some tricks). I went with a sepia for the majority of the page layouts so as to not distract from the text. Little scrolls are present throughout the book with biographies of each of the major players.

It's really a culmination of the hobby for me and allowed me to combine some story writing with gaming, painting and hanging out with the people involved. Definitely need to thank my buddy Dayne for his contributions as well.

12 mb link to PDF version

Now I haven't touched a paint brush in months. I'm hoping Kingdom Death when my preorder arrives will kickstart some new hobby love.

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Lyi'ot
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Re: [Fluff] The Siege of Bruj - Coffee Table Book

Post#20 » Oct 22 2015 05:14

Fantastic work! I just started reading through the PDF -- really amazing quality there, my friend. And I love the coffee table version. Very classy!

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TheAmbit
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Re: [Fluff] The Siege of Bruj - Coffee Table Book

Post#21 » Oct 22 2015 05:39

Thanks Elliot, my wife even let's it stay on the table when guests are around! They definitely say things like 'hmm' and 'oh yeah?' while forming conclusions about me for writing a story about my toys haha!

If you ever get to the end and wonder why the plot went a certain way:
[spoiler=]and 'the idiot ball' was used (just read Doombringer's post mentioning this is a trope), I can assure you it was not laziness, but friendly spite haha.[/spoiler]

Though I have my doubts a read through would keep anyone's interest; which is why I included so many pictures :)

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Che Gue'vesa
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Re: [Fluff] The Siege of Bruj - Coffee Table Book

Post#22 » Oct 23 2015 02:22

The Coffee Table version is really cool! But I was always impressed by your work anyways!

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