My work on the matter: Clicky here
Otherwise a quick couple of notes:
You have both commanders listed with the mirrorcodex, though the points are off and I assume it was just a mistake and only one has it, aye?
And as for the question by Kael'yn, he is quite right. there is having an assaulty element and then there is going overboard. I do know that having an assault element to tie up something for a couple of turns so you can shoot other things first is very helpful, it also helps as when you don't need to actually shoot something like a basic troop that you can easily sweep through is nice also. And the multilayered threat that it creates adds complexity to some lists that make them tougher to handle for some armies.
Question is do you need something that CAN assault or want an assault list with some shooty?
All that said, I'm for the bikes, but against the sternguard veterens in your list. White scars giving you hit and run helps the problem of when you do want to shoot something you can get out of combat and let you do this. But the veteren squad I think you will find will not hold up. Non scoring T4 3+ armor with only 5 bodies they lack any staying power.. and even though they are jump packs, they lack the mobility needed to constantly cause damage and do what you need to as deepstrikes don't allow them to then assault and moving across the table is time consuming.
A better idea if using a captain would to have a command squad on bikes I think.
With AP2 on your riptides, grav guns, melee ap, etc.. I don't think you need the dual plasma suits, and this maybe a great spot for bladestorm plasma and burst cannons to take on infantry better, while not loosing much effectivness against armored targets.
Just an overall thought is that many of your troops will be in postions to really get hurt... how do you plan to capture objectives?